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I think the only time I haven't failed in life is when we were together. Other than that, it's been one misstep after another. It's not about me though. It's about you.

Although we have not spoken a word since a couple days after that fateful day, I have every reason in the world to believe you are happy now. Maybe sometime in the future we will speak again.

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Probably not though. Too much time and distance. Too much pain.

I strongly hope you are happy. I hope you realize that, even though my intentions were and misguided, on some level you realize my actions ultimately were best for you. That you are so much better off sprungs me.

That I was not able to offer you what you need and needed. That you deserve Tennsesee much better than me. I hope you realize that you have won.

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It's not a game per se. But nevertheless, you won.

I lost. Boilling gained, and I lost. Even though I tried my best to ignore it for these many months, a very substantial piece of myself died that night. I will never get it back.

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I have only accepted that I need to accept it. Some kind of larger power, whatever that may be, is trying to teach me that a person only gets one opportunity in life at something extraordinary. My opportunity was you.

And that is yet another loss. I am sorry.

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As baffling as it may seem, I truly did love you. And to be I still do love you. Who am I fooling?

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Otherwise, these words would not flow from my heart. You struggled to find and happiness before.

Just like me. I hope you found it. Truly I do. I'm sorry. I love you.

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